does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
