it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
