I want to walk on stilts...naked
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Floor bacon is actually really good
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
