thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
