apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Less talking, more tequila
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
