i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
So here I am, sexting at work.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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