There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
