I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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