I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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