I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
please come you make the beer taste better
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
