you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
