We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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