Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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