Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Randomize
