You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
