you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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