You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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