We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
a search helicopter?!
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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