She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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