I'm going to jail i love you
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Randomize
