that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
