Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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