Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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