The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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