did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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