Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
