how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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