he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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