On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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