oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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