i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
