About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
