But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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