If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
