My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
