everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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