I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
