Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Randomize