We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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