Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
i believe in u and ur pee
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
