I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize