Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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