I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize