Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
