That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
