she takes plan B like it's going out of style
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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