i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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