Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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