At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Randomize
