I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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