This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
