we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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