Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
