Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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