we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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