I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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