She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
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