Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
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