Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
The feeling are messing with the penis
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
